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Orignal From: Click2Sell Affiliate Marketing Network - Innovative Affiliate Network Online!

Have You Ceased Beating Your Wife？

This story is told of a browbeating counsel,who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent's witnesses.

One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations.

"I want 'yes' or 'no,' "thundered counsel."There is no need for you to argue the point!"

"But there are some questions which cannot be answered by 'yes 'or 'no,' "mildly responded the witness.

"There are not!" snapped the lawyer.

"Oh," said the witness,"answer this then:"Have you ceased beating your wife?"

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Orignal From: Have You Ceased Beating Your Wife？

I want to buy two commonly roll of toilet paper

A man saw a store sale, and went in.
"You buy anything?" "I want to buy dog food."
"We have rules, you must prove that you have the dog."
"Where is this?" "Discounted goods."
Man and assistant grinding, assistant or don't agree to sell him. No man had to go home, the dog, just bought a dog food. After a few days, the man went to the store and buy cat.
"Give me two boxes of cat." "We have rules, you must prove that you have a cat."
Or the assistant and she dawdle, men, or had to go home to bring the cat cat food to buy.
A few days later, the man digs a hole hug big boxes to the shop, find the shop assistant.
"You buy anything?" "You just know handle knob."
Salesman: "hand in what ah, stick."
"I want to buy two commonly roll of toilet paper."

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Orignal From: I want to buy two commonly roll of toilet paper

Who Is This?

My two sister and I were all away at various colleges at the same time. One day, after facing one crisis too many and tired of being treated like just another undergraduate, I phoned home for some consolation and understanding of my unique problems.

When my dad answered, I immediately launched into my litany of frustrations with college life. As I paused to catch my breath, he said, "O.K., honey...now, fist of all, who is this?"

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Orignal From: Who Is This?

Statistical teacher very cool

A specialist in statistical teacher, he is not very clever, as his immortals.

The first day of class --

The teacher announced: in my class, you can very easily, want to eat breakfast, but to eat except the steak, basically, I don't want to see anyone at other food to eat, Sleep can also, but must cover the quilt...

Students laugh.

Teacher: I only compared to care about is that mobile phones must shut down, because I would never allow anyone disturb those who are sleeping. Students and laugh.

When the final exams, everyone is busy with their answers, finally rang... The teacher began rewinder, one of the students look nervously at you at the next 1,000 yuan, plus a piece of "10 yuan 1".

Students in teacher very proud than gestures "ok", the teacher in the student also than "ok". At the next class teacher finally hair examination, the student thought this exam must be 100 points, unexpectedly (don't busy see results, if you are a teacher, what would you do? The teacher gave him a "59" paper and write "410 yuan" note.

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Orignal From: Statistical teacher very cool

The consequences of derailed

A man married swear to god to his marriage, but soon he was derailed marriage, he found nothing after a few days of shangguan recompense, also dismissed. Until one day he met a boat sailing, he suddenly realized that this was god's punishment and hurriedly knelt down and prayed: look at other requests on the innocent Ken forgive him. Then, just listen to the sky was a deep voice: you think I idle, raise the ship to me?

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Orignal From: The consequences of derailed

Women Talk More Than Men

A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use on the average only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day.

She thought about this for awhile and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.

He said, "What?"

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Orignal From: Women Talk More Than Men

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Rid of Bad Habits

Bad habits start growing on almost every one of us without being noticed. Once we realize the bad habits or once they are pointed out to us, it is a wise decision that we get rid of them immediately. But to get rid of a bad habit is not as easy a thing as we sometimes think. Here is how:

To get rid of a bad habit, it is important that we first get to know how harmful the habit really is. Take the habit of smoking as an example. Obviously, smoking is harmful to one's health. It can result in lung cancer and heart attack. Besides, smoking is awasteof money. A heavy smoker spends almost as much money a day as he pays for his own meals. So if he can realize the danger and waste, it is likely that he may stop smoking at once.

To get rid of a bad habit, it is essential that we also have a strong will. Let's again take the habit of smoking for example. Many smokers pick up the habit again soon after they give it up. A lot of them cannot tell how many times they have attempted to give up smoking and how many times they have failed to do so. Therefore, it is impossible to get rid of any bad habit if we change our minds constantly.

Although it is not so easy to get rid of a bad habit, many people have succeeded in doing so, setting us good models. We should learn from these models and go out of our way to do away with our bad habits, whatever it takes.

Population to Be Curbed

Nothing in today＇s world is as big a problem as that of population. People begin to worry about the support capacity of the earth. And there might be only standing room for each person in the future.Lima＇s population was 5. 7 million in 1985 but it grew to 9. 1 million in 2000. Tianjin＇s was 7.9 million in 1985. In 2000, it boosted to 9. 7 million. Such cities as London, Osaka, Moscow, Beijing, Karachi, Delhi, Jakarta, Seoul, and Teheran are having a similar population growth. Calcutta, Shanghai, New York, and Sto Paulo see a faster population explosion. Tokyo had 18.8 million in 1985. In 2000 it turned into 20.2 million. Mexico city had 17.3 million people in 1985, but in 2000, its population reached 25.8 million!

What does the population growth mean? It means greater and greater consumption and greater pressure for the earth. If more people are added to the world population without our being alert or taking any action, we would have only standing room by the end of the 21st century.
Each government and the UN should see that population of each country and each city stops growing for the next fifty years.

Fast Food

Fast food is becoming more and more popular in China, especially among children and teenagers. Today, nothing is more representative of the fast pace of modern society than fast food. There are several reasons for its popularity. First, it is quick and convenient. Go into a fast food restaurant, and your food will be ready in a minute. You can satisfy your hunger instantly. Precious time won't be wasted in waiting-in-line to order or waiting at your table for your food to arrive. Second, its popularity is also attributed to the clean food, the excellent service and the comfortable environment of the fast food restaurant.

However, I think that fast food isn't healthy enough because it does not compose a balanced diet and is low in nutrition. Doctors suggest that people should avoid eating too much fast food. Although home cooking is time-consuming and following washing-u p tiresome, it offers healthy and delicious meals your body likes and needs. Fast food I s only a good choice when you are in a hurry and we should turn to it only once in awhile.

Runner eats well!

Runnng star Sandra Clark eats lots of healthy food.

For breakfast ,she likes eggs , bananas and apples.

For lunch , she likes hamburgers , salad and pears.

And for dinner , she has chicken, tomatoes , French fries and ,for dessert , ice-cream.

A Sunny Day

Today is a sunny day,

the sun

is exposed he's read head,

and he's smiley face.Some people

are take there quilt drying;

some children

are play in the playground ,

No body want stay at home ,

all the people leave there house

bath the Sunshine

The indoor garden

Granny Potter has to stay indoors,because it is very cold outside,the paths are too slippery,and she is very old.

"I miss my garden very much," says Granny Potter sadly."But now, the only thing I can do is looking out of the window."

She doesn't need to worry any more.The tow children form the hous e nest door send her a miniayure garden.It's an old dish filled with bulbs twigs and moss.

"Thank you!This is just what I want,"says Granny Potter as she thanks the children."I shall enjoy my indoor garden until the sprimg comes."

Why are trees important

Trees take in carbon dioxide from the air and make oxygen .That is important .people and inimals need oxygen to live .Many small animals and insects live in trees .Some of them also get food from trees Trees can stop water and soil from going away and can help stop deserts from getting larger .I think this is very impotant ,too.You know,trees are green .They can make our country even more beautiful.

Treets are our good fridends .We should plant more treets and take good care of them

Discipline

　　Some people say that the best way to raise children is to them to be independent thinkers. Other people disagree and say that children need to be taught discipline in order to let them successful. In other word, children should either be granted freedom, or be given more discipline. I tend to agree with a policy of firm discipline.The people whose view places emphasis on encouraging children to think freely hope the child will be able to understand and govern the world. The child is considered as an "equal"to the adult. This view has been popular in the western countries, where corporal punishment of children is now illegal. The concept of "rights" for children is part of a wider political movement that also asserts right for women, animals and environment.

　　The pro-discipline view is based on the commonsensical observation that, if left unchecked,children behave stupidly and even run amok. Disciplinarians believe that physical constrains and punishments imposed by adult teach the child that his selfishness, laziness and running wild will lead him to a bad life. The child then gains wisdom through lessons. Constraints and punishments range from a simple withdrawing of a "privilege"such as pocket money, limited time for watching TV, to a remark of "beating". Yet the discipline does not have to be harsh. Sanctions are only applied if the child behaves stupidly.Discipline has many areas of practical, one of the most important of which is education. The Chinese proverb says, "the strict teacher can cultivate an outstanding student."Some adults have observed that strict schools often achieve good academic,accomplishment. Likewise, people reckon that disciplined children are likely to become productive persons.

　　It is obvious to me that an uncontrolled child who does dangerous matters can cause injury to himself and to others. And many violent teenagers appear to behave no fear of punishment for illegal action. So parents should not give children a free hand, especially when they can't tell right from wrong. Adults have a serious duty of supervising the young.

　　Discipline is justified because adults are generally wiser than children. Discipline in childhood fosters the child for the hardship of his future life.

A happy day in the orphanage

　　Today we went to visit an orphanage.
　　After having breakfast hurriedly, I went along with other volunteers. We took No.80 Bus at 9:30 am. When we arrived, we first gave out some presents to the children, and then sang and danced with them. At noon we had lunch together with the children. After that we read them some stories. The children were also very happy.
　　We returned at 4:30 pm. When I got home, I felt very happy although I was rather tired.

A diary about Women's Day

　　Today is March 8th. It is Women's Day, so I want to give my mother a surprise. First I went to the supermarket and bought something such as vegetables and fruits. Then I went home to clean the house and do some cooking. When Mum came back from work, she was really excited. She said that I was a nice girl and had grown up. I was happy, too. I think I'll help my mother more in the future.

A letter of application

Name:Tina
Age:14
Good at:Drawing,English
Hobby:Reading
More information:the best student in her class,like to help other

Dear Mr Lee,
　　I want to be a member of the Student Union very much.
　　First let me introduce myself. My name is Tina. I'm a 14-year-old girl. I'm good at drawing and English. Reading is my favorite hobby and I have learned a lot from reading books. I'm the best student in my class. I like to help others, so I want to be one of yours.
　　I think if I am accepted, I'll try my best.
　　I'm looking forward to the good news from you.
Sincerely,
Tina

Voluntary Labour

　　April 28th Saturday Fine

　　It was Saturday， just before May Day. My classmates and I went to the park nearby， we didn't go there for amusement but took part in voluntary labor.

　　We got there at 9：00. We were divided into three groups and then began working. The students in Group One planted trees and watered flowers. The task for Group Two was collecting the litter left about by tourists and cleaning the benches. The group I was in got to the Children's Playground and wiped all the equipment clean. We worked very hard. At 11：00， when all the work was finished up，all my classmates met again. Although everyone was in a sweat， yet we felt happy because we had done good job.